
come_as_u_r
I could have never been prepared for a life like this all those years ago. My heart fails to grasp the meaning of beauty. As I look around me, I see the criticizing looks of others because I am not one of them. Must I be beautiful to be accepted, to be loved, and to be seen? There's not a moment I live without wishing to be that beautiful. I want to be that one beautiful girl but not deceiving. *sigh*
Every time I see myself reflected in the mirror, I see nothing but an incomplete person that I've always been. A starving, broken soul that's constantly in pain and another enemy to torture me. Will you continue to love me like you say you do when you see what I am? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what do I hold? What do you see in me? I feel so cold and alone; more than ever with these passing hours. I'm lonely, and my mind, my body longs to feel you. This crushed heart is having so many doubts about this new-found love. My soul, my being loves you with every breath of life bestowed upon me.
I'll plead with all of my sanity to not let me go, to not let me escape from the grasp you have, but most of all, do not leave me for I would then wither to the nothing I've become inside. How can I feel so much pain even with you inside of me? I do not understand and probably never will. The journey I've taken, is one full of truth yet deception. I'm confused as to which one is different from the other.
One day I'll see the light of a new beginning. Maybe one day I will have a stunning beauty that abounds like no other. The dreams of obtaining such injustice burns more every day. Maybe my life, an immature rose, hasn't yet unfolded, or maybe I truly am that lost and dying, incarnate one you see behind this mask.
Breathe into me the life I know you hold. Erase all the insanity within me, capture every tear, caress every wound, fear, and lie with the hands and soul that has molded my own. My heart beats for your eternal being. Dive deeper into the recesses of this core with hope that one day my beauty will no longer be covered by those around me. Look into my eyes and tell me what you see.
i'm really sorry to read about all this, i know how it is with friends and things. but it will get better dont worry. praying 4 ya, much love.
(play for real money backgammon)